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Entry
16
Viva
Zapata
Tequila a la Mexicana The first thing you learn on arriving in Mexico
(actually, on embarking the plane, if it is a Mexicana airlines
flight) is that they, the Mexicans, call it Me-hi-ko. The next thing
you learn is that though the worldwide renown of Mexican food is
well deserved, anybody who has not been to Mexico, or is not fortunate
to have a Mexican friend who cooks for you, will never, ever get
to know the full range and depth of their cuisine. Sure, they eat
tortillas and tacos, but also many, many more delicacies that I'd
never heard of before arriving there. And the third thing you get
to know, that though this is the land of the famed tequila, beer,
or cerveza (in Spanish) is what folks commonly drink. "Corona es
Cerveza" billboards greet us in Mexico City. Corona is beer, it
says. Corona is the largest selling beer in Mexico.
The billboards and the wall paintings, the shutters on the shops,
the pollution in the air- all make us feel at home. A tour to the
famed Teutihuacan pyramids, about a thousand years old, takes us
past the outskirts of Mexico City. Our tour guide, Adrian shows
us an ordinary looking cactus. "That's the Maguey." "Tequila!!"
We all go in unison as we strain to see the plant from the moving
car- a spray of long spikes jutting out of the sandy, barren ground.
"No, the sap of this maguey is made into Pulque. Its like tequila,
not as potent, or as sophisticated. The working class people here,
mostly men, consume this. It's rich in vitamins, and is an aphrodisiac."
A vision of a raucous cantina floats across in my mind's eye. "And
every part of the plant is used by the people- the fibre is used
to make cloth, the skin for soap etc." Reminds me of the many uses
of the coconut tree! "So, where is the tequila cactus?" Our tour
companion, Dmitri, from Russia originally, and now from Silicon
Valley pipes up. "That is not found round here. Tequila is made
from the Agave tequilana found in Jalisco and a few other states,
not near Mexico City." We stop in a souvenir shop and are offered
shots of tequila. Instructions about licking the salt from the little
bulge on the back of your hand just above the thumb, gulping the
tequila down in one shot, and sucking on a wedge of lime are followed
meticulously. Dmitri loves it. He reaches out for a second shot-
"Might as well!" It's strong, though Dmitri contends that nothing
quite matches up to vodka!
Mexican
bartenders are supposed to have invented the margarita for foreigners
not used to the potency of the straight tequila. The limejuice and
liqueur added to the tequila and served in a salt-rimmed glass makes
it one of the best-known cocktails around. But for the people who
had the straight shots of tequila, nothing quite matches up to it!
Entry
17
Vodka vs Tequila
I've always prided myself on being able to pack away quite a few
litres of alcohol - not exaggerating. Till one night saw me sitting
at a friends' place, guzzling away. Now, some past details are in
order to understand the situation. Out of the four people present,
two were really good friends of mine while the other was a complete
stranger. Well, anyway, we got out some tequila and decided to loosen
up before we hit the nightspots in the city. Thirteen shots down,
I started feeling just a little woozy. So, I swayed to the loo and
decided to let it all out. So, there I was chucking up like no tomorrow.
After around ten minutes I stepped out of the loo only to find that
the other drunks were ready to move on to the hottest pub in town.
The journey to the pub is a vague, blurred memory to me. All I remember
is stopping at two hotels on the way to inaugurate the loo - if
you know what I mean? The clearest memory I have of that night is
somehow making it into the loo of the disc and retching like nobody's'
business.
I seem to have recovered really well after that, because the next
thing I remember is doing the samba with the hottest guy on the
dance floor. Numbed gray cells, loosened inhibitions and pulsating
music are what I remember of that night. Of course, I swore of booze
for the next six months. The icing on the cake was of course, when
I asked my friends why I was the only one who was affected by the
booze as all the others seemed buzzed but not blown. The reason
- I was the only one actually doing shots. 9 tequila and 4 vodka
shots to be precise. The others after their sixth or seventh had
switched to water shots and started passing me vodka shots in stead
of tequila ones. My deadened tastebuds after the sixth shot couldn't
figure out the difference. I'm not complaining though. That stud
on the dance floor made up for the next days hangover and I maintain
my loyalty to tequila. Only, vodka could make you retch like that.
Forget the fact that I had 13 shots.
Entry
18
Indian
Pride
Ok, so I'm abroad for the first time, Auckland, New Zealand actually.
I'm there to study a post graduate degree in Business Administration.
Serious stuff that. I was from a conservative family in Mumbai -
Gujju Mom, Mallu Dad - y'know the rest. Never had much pocket money
so never exposed to the finer alcoholic intoxicants in life - always
limited to what one gets in the legendary "Gokul Bar and Restaurant"
in Colaba (courtesy my years in St. Xavier's College Mumbai). Its
easy to list that - the cheapest whisky, or vodka, or beer or whatever.
So long as it was the cheapest!
Not
to digress - here I was with a bunch of phirang and asian dorm mates
- me all gung ho with my Royal Challenge and Old Monk schoolings
- they with a crystal legend that has eluded my wallet's reach so
far - TEQUILA! I had impressed them suitably with my drinking stories
for them to think I was a fish in human form. Like an alcoholic
merman of sorts. So they lay it out in front of me - the kit - Tequila,
lime, shot glasses, salt. And there's a prize to be won mates. Winner
can eat all he wants at Pizza Hut the next day for lunch. So we
start - the first one was like having a rocket scorching through
my gut. The next became torpedo, then missile, and then a diwali
rocket.
Six
shots later (I think it was six) - the shots were going down like
water. Forget the lime and salt licking routine. One was too busy
showing off, carving a niche for Indian Alcoholics abroad. And then
- well - I don't recall much except two things. One, I was pissing
in the fountain that was outside the lobby of my University - singing
some obscene hindi number and spreading the drops on my pants as
well (my lovely new Levis- spots made them look like they'd been
shagged by a canine). Two - I recall hazily seeing the warden through
beautiful tequila crazed eyes - and hurling all over the detention
room and his table at about 2 am. Not pretty - but who cares?! The
well-earned Pizza was great, and the mark for Indian Alcoholics
was made forever!
Entry
19
Comfortably
numb
First of all, dear reader you have to say 'Abracadabra' twice. With
feeling! Behold! Madrasi called and told me that we'd got the contract.
That broke the fever - the tension of the past week melted. Congratulations
and staff poured into my office. The Tequila I had won in a story
contest was lifted out of the cabinet. The shot glasses were shined.
God's will be done. The pizza was ordered. It was to be an intense,
spur of the moment celebration, more like a thanksgiving.
A chorus of toasts in tongues filled the room and 'shots' rang down
greedy gullets. My insides lit up like the northern lights -fire
and water was what it felt like. The piped muzak had given up and
was headbanging. With every new toast someone forgot the lime and
puckered up. I heard a couple of girls breezed by sexual harassment
even as their Tequila breath lingered on. And then the familiar
approaching disaster feeling started to spread over the mood. Something
was very wrong with the scene. Fear, anxiety, panic! Oh shit! I'd
had a drink, many drinks! This was not supposed to happen, I'd been
going to the meetings and following directions, practicing the program
for more than three years. Just recently 'celebrated' three years
sober and serene. And now I'd relapsed. Oh shit, shit, shit! Drinking
is a recovering alcoholic's worst nightmare (there's got to be a
paradox here somewhere). How was I going to face up to the guys
in my AA group? I have to hide this, not lie, just not tell the
truth. Might as well shore up with another shot of Tequila - glugoosh!
Ahhhhhh..ohhhhh noooo
God!
That's it. Denial! If there's a calm BEFORE the storm, then there
are also weird voices within a storm. And they say things like "wake
up darling. Are you OK, Deeeeeepak." Women (read wife) ARE made
up of sugar & spice and all things nice. As she woke me up and I
realized this was a cliche of a dream, I loved her, I was grateful.
"Have you sent in your story yet? I'm looking forward to your winning
and me drinking that Tequila," she said.
Entry
20
Suburban
Surprises
This is a real story & not a figment of my imagination: It was a
hot & humid day, when I was sitting at Big Mac's at Andheri all
forlorn & sick thinking about why did I do to deserve this neglect.
It was my 30th birthday & nobody called or wished me - My parents
were not even home. I wanted to cry. Just as I started flipping
through a heavy manual regarding certain "New Technology Area's
" my company was planning to initiate -I heard this sweet voice
enquiring me, if I was in IT or not ? It was one of those obvious
questions to start a conversation & I was in no mood. I felt like
saying " No I sell vegetables & I am looking to find ways to sell
vegetables to computers" Did you now they eat vegetables when they
get hungry. However, one look stopped my retort in my throat! The
enquirer had limpid eyes a winning smile not to forget the cute
dimples.
Question time dude! Is it going to be my lucky day? Is she my saviour
angel? We started chatting, one thing led to the other & I found
myself in a hep pub, with this, wonderful woman, who wants to know
me well! Couldn't believe my luck. I knew I needed a lot of luck
& some fire in my belly today - to bring this evening to its logical
conclusion (Some say men are one track minded - but who care's).
We ordered for two tequila's, followed by a couple of more, till
there was a raging wildfire in my belly & my head was orbiting the
higher realms of stratosphere! I was sure it was doing things to
her as well! Until she whispered in my ears - I need some good TLC
- Your place or mine? This tequila stuff is potent huh, now I was
hearing things? She repeated herself again & I knew my luck was
riding. Within few hours, we found ourselves drained & exhausted,
as we lay in bed after making love, we heard the telephone ring
downstairs. I suggested to her that I shall give her a piggyback
ride to the phone. Since we didn't want to miss the call, we didn't
have time to get dressed. When we got to the bottom of the stairs,
the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people yelled,
"SURPRISE!" My entire family: aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins
and all my friends were standing there. We were frozen in a state
of shock and embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity. Since
then " I never had tequila then on & no one in my family has planned
a surprise party again "
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